Carl Versus the Smoke Detector

Is there anything more annoying than the “chirp” of a smoke detector with a low battery at night?  Maybe a snoring spouse, or perhaps a mosquito buzzing in your ear? 

I can remember hearing about the Chinese water torture when I was young.  A captor drips water on your forehead until you confess.  It doesn’t sound that daunting, but I think what drives you bananas is not the dripping water but the anticipation of the next drop.  The smoke detector chirp may be the modern day equivalent of the Chinese water torture.  It REALLY makes you want to change the battery as soon as possible because it’s impossible to sleep for anticipation of the next chirp.

Changing the battery in smoke detectors is something that I have successfully done many times in my life so it should be quite easy (especially since I have the added advantage of being closer to the smoke detector than most others).  However, like many things outside the US, there are some differences.

To remove, push screwdriver into slot and push cover away.  They seem like such simple instructions.  Being a well educated person, I think I can easily master the task.  Now, what to do if your screwdrivers are in a container on a ship somewhere in the Atlantic?  Also, it’s Sunday so every place that could possibly sell screwdrivers is closed.  After some spirited experimentation (including the occasional naughty word), a butter knife, a key, a screw, and a pair of scissors are all ruled out as possible screwdriver substitutes.  Since I’m leaving town the next morning, I decide to defer the project to when I return and hope for the best.  Unfortunately, the Chinese smoke detector torture works its magic for part of the night.  Even though it doesn’t chirp during the night, I still have problems sleeping for fear that it may start chirping. 

After I get back from my trip, I borrow a screwdriver from my landlord.  Despite having the correct tool (and quite a few more naughty words), no success.  Finally, I decide that I will break the $%@#* thing if necessary and then go buy a replacement.  As I am trying to break the cover off – voila – it finally pops off as it is supposed to based on the directions!  Once the cover is off, it’s easy to tell how the mechanism works and I could see the type of battery needed.  Case closed.  Better educated for the next time, I guess…

For all of the hassle it caused, I decide to leave the smoke alarm disconnected for a few days.